i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
wow bdsm is so cute
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