I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she pinky promised me she was 18
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
