I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
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We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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