whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
