no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize