i just google imaged poop.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
