He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
