Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
its not stalking. its research.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We're too hungover to prance.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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