He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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