The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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