Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
