so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this just has baby written all over it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
