i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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