she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
