ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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