No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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