people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
