Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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