We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So apparently I’m into choking now
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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