Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
