my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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