Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
