I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
