He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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