I have demons in me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize