Say something about gay babies.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
