I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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