i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
