theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
40s are totally the cure
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
