He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
