38 yer olds are good kisserssss
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
