Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
