mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
