I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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