you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
