You work out of a Hotel?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
