Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
