Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
