I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize