Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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