Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
