the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I deserve this hangover.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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