we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
