Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize