Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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