Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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