I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
People in love make me want to vomit
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
