Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
