Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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