# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
