You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize