Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
