Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
