I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
