are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
