I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
