i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?