So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
