She's JV to your varsity
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
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i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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