I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
