are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you had me at cake vodka
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
