I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
