I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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